Nourishing My "Mac and Cheese Child."

Alaina K. Yazzie

11/18/2025

Crying, tantrums, frustration and a little bargaining.

I have done all these things when engaging with a five-year-old opponent at mealtimes. My youngest is still at the table, very content with waiting me out, not whining or crying, but just waiting for me to crack. And I do, because I just want him to eat something. I have what is called a “mac and cheese” child. Or, in more broad terms, a picky eater or more technical, a selective eater. If you never have found yourself offering rewards in exchange for your child to just try one bite of their dinner, lucky does not begin to describe you. A compiled literature review supports that there have been a reported 14-16% of children who have had an aversion to a new food. While it may be a normal part of childhood to refuse some broccoli, I wish I would’ve never let him try mac and cheese. I remind myself that that this is all a phase, and that I need to practice patience. I continuously worry and fear for his development because all he wants is microwaveable mac and cheese. I have hidden vegetables in fruit smoothies or pureed tofu, which is high in protein, calcium, and iron. Because I think tofu does not affect the taste of his mac and cheese, I'll blend some with some milk and add it in. I am also a fan of hiding vegetables and telling them after they finished it to tell them there was some spinach in there. As it turns, food jag is a common developmental phase when a child only wants to eat the same food all the time. I have just learned is a normal developmental phase and not a sign of something “wrong,” but because predictability feels safe. Kids have changing sensory needs and want to express their independence in choosing their meals. And physiologically speaking, sometimes their growth patterns change causing their appetite to naturally decrease or increase to keep pace with spurts of growth.

I recently spoke to Denee about how I’ve been feeling. She had brought up the idea of Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility. This framework helps us support our children’s health, not only through recognizing the parent’s role in nutrition care, but also the child’s role in learning to trust their body’s hunger, fullness and energy cues. Denee reassured me that my job is to provide food and decide when and where to eat. It is the child’s job to decide how much or if he will eat at all. She also spoke about breaking the food shame, such as labeling certain foods as bad and others as good. Food shame may not be the most effective way to support our relationship with food and nourishing habits. This reminded me of a cooking class where Denee would not discourage certain foods but instead encourage participants to add fruits, vegetables or fiber to favorite dishes as a more positive way to balance out our plate.

Trusting a child's hunger cues, independence, and willingness to try new foods has been a new experience for me in this trek through motherhood. Whether it be hiding vegetables or making a fun fruit platter, I know that finding creative ways make food appealing to my mac and cheese child. Here are some other recommendations from Denee to help any selective eater explore new foods:

1. Invite your child to help prepare meals, letting him taste the veggies going into the pot, taste testing and suggesting additions.

2. Accept the situation and let them decide if they will or how much they will eat.

3. Trust a child’s intuition and their ability to know their limits and their needs.

4. Avoid coercing children to eat certain foods, instead encourage their sense of exploration by reminding them they are independent eaters and can eat how much they want or don’t want.

5. Pair familiar foods (i.e. mac and cheese) with new or different foods. For instance, pairing mac and cheese with frozen vegetables or applesauce. This will keep any change small and manageable.

6. Offer tiny bits of exposure, by offering a child a new food or try letting them smell, touch or taste it with the tip of their tongue without coercion.

I hope this helps and I get that it may be frustrating today, but building a healthy relationship with food is what’s important in the long term. I have to come to understand that this too shall pass, and I'll continue to introduce new foods and wait for him to love other foods as much as his beloved mac and cheese. Lastly, did you know it takes kids 10-20 exposures to a new food before they will taste it, so don't give up, we are all doing the best we can.

For more information about the Division of Responsibility, please visit the Ellyn Satter Institute.

Not Medical Advice: The information provided does not constitute medical or nutritional advice for individual patients and should not replace consultation with a qualified healthcare professional.